Boku no Mumkey (Mumkey x Adult! Pico)
by Hello Fetty
Summary: So this masterpiece is basically telling the story of an Adult! version of Pico from Boku no Pico. And how even someone like him finds true love in a mysterious stranger. A cute fanfic which encourages the reader to never give up when it comes to love!


This is English with German grammar. I'm not a native speaker and Hitler taught me that I should always respect my native language, unless it's French. So this English either won't make sense, or just be weird at best. This isn't a bad thing, I'm pretty sure the readers are capable of understanding the art of this beautiful language pretty well.. Schniedelwutz

Pico never realized how fast time can actually pass by. He was never really aware of a weird concept like time to begin with, since he was always living in a world in which only he and he alone existed, but there was a certain point in his life, in which he had often found himself being painfully reminded of the fact, that you simply can't be a little boy forever. As a high school student Pico started to recognize his surroundings for the first time, as he discovered that not everything in this world is quite easy to deal with. He always had (sex) friends. He always had his caring uncle. But in high school this just... didn't matter at all. In high school everyone only cares about someone's grades, which aside of Sex Ed and modern Art, were absolutely horrible in Pico's case. So he got scolded. Pico Parcho* got scolded. This was unbelievable, to him at least. He still cannot grasp it, even after all these years. Whenever Pico thinks back to the countless maths tests, he just isn't able to open his mouth, since he cannot get the dryness in his throat under control. But now it's over. High school time is over. Pico currently works as a receptionist at a love hotel. A love hotel dedicated towards straight couples.

Sadly.

It's disgusting.

If you thought that puberty makes you rethink your life.. well Papa Pico can assure you, that you're in fact horribly wrong. Nothing is more challenging than trying to be sane while working at a love hotel. And not as a gay prostitute! If only the Japanese weren't so homophobic...

But well.

He's glad whenever the men speak and rent one of the rooms, since the voices of the females are simply unpleasant for Pico. He's always scared that their periods will make the carpet dirty. Let's hope they all know how to use a tampon.

...

It's not that men don't bother him as well, since a few of them remind him of a certain someone. Remind him of the man who used to abuse him. Saw him as a sex object only, like Ikea furniture or a digibro weebcast. Abandoned him. But a part of Pico still holds him dear, since he always drove Pico to the ice cream truck that had the best ice cream, and not to the cheap ice cream shop right next door, the shop his uncle always brought him to. So he must have had feelings for him, right? At least on some level... ? And he also didn't laugh when Pico confessed that he still watches the Teletubbies (and enjoys the green nigga best). But with French subtitles. Pico doesn't speak French, since his mother is an Englishwoman. But French just makes the experience more intense and cryptic. A language that's proud of being gay... it's just what fits to Pico the most. Pico can relate to this language, and being able to understand it would simply destroy the magic.

But Pico always forgets something.

Pico is an adult. Pico is 20 years old. And Pico hates it. He always lies when people ask him for the date of his birthday, thus making him at least 5 years younger. He always counts how many years he'll probably have to live on before he gets his first wrinkles. This will be the time in which his life ends. Will he kill himself? No, Pico would be too scared to do that. But deep inside of him, he'd most likely eagerly await a sudden car crash, hopefully killing him before he's even able to realize it.

He's still popular with the guys. Yeah, Pico's hair is short now, obviously since he has to make a good impression on the customers, but he still looks effeminate. He's still Pico. Deep inside, because his eyes didn't change at all. But everyone only wants sex in the adult life. If this goes on, he'll probably never find a boyfriend. A scary thought, indeed. Pico wants someone who'll call his wrinkles beautiful. No matter how bad of a liar said someone might be.

"Ehh.. can I rent a room?", a steady voice muttered. Pico looked up to a hairy man with golden eyes, in which brown colours intermingled. In the truest sense of the word. Black stripes of hair spread down his shoulders, so smooth that it just couldn't be real hair. Who is this guy? A seriously bad Yu-Gi-Oh! cosplayer? A seriously bad Mink cosplayer? (Pico probably refers to the guy from this one Yaoi otome hentai game who dresses up in pink pirate clothes but acts like a badass) Or maybe.. he just wants attention like all these... women in their fancy cocktail clothes. Disgusting.

Biting his own lip, Pico put on a forced smile. "Yeah, sir."

Crap.

Seconds after saying those words, he realized a significant detail. This guy was alone. Standing alone in a love hotel, wanting to rent a room. Is this going to be a masturbation session?

"So err... sorry. But are you alone...?"

The man looked up to him but Pico had problems with processing what this guy's raised eyebrows and even kinda proud smile had to do with the situation. "Yeah, I'm alone."

This is odd. Seriously odd. And he sounds like a woman.

Crap.

 **To be continued soon**

 **2017**

*why doesn't he have a surname? Well I'll call him Parcho. Pico Parcho. Sound's good amirite? Kinda reminds me of Light Yagami... I wonder why.

* * *

OKeAY I'M LAZY so I will leave it like that, what's Mumkey's naughty naughty secret?

Have a great day and all Heil Angela Merkel our new Führer. Wait... I meant Trump.

Fichtl's Lied wir werden niemals glücklich sein, und mein einer Klassenkamerad namens Sebastian sieht aus wie dieser Mongo mit den schlechten Zähnen aus dem Video also dieser Woody Typ was den ganzen Sachverhalt für mich irgendwie ausgesprochen verstörend gestaltet, aber ich finde es auch verdammt lustig wie die ganzen Amis keine Ahnung von Deutschland haben, und denken wir Deutsche hören sowas den ganzen Tag aber naja wenn man mutig genug ist einen Blick auf Helene Fischer zu wagen, ist das jetzt nicht sonderlich weithergeholt. Esel essen ist moralisch nicht verwerflich.


End file.
